Last night I awoke abruptly at 2:45 a.m. pondering the word “perfectionism.” How bizarre, I thought, until I remembered that upon retiring I had asked God to give me guidance on what I should blog about this week. Of course I might also have been thinking about perfectionism because I’m on a self-improvement program while my eye heals from a nasty infection. . . [See Matthew 7:4-5.] Either way, it seems perfectionism is the topic of today’s post. Let the exploration begin!
If you were raised in a Christian church, you’ve probably heard this Scripture verse since childhood:
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”
Matthew 5:48
In this teaching from the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus encourages His listeners to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them.
“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?
Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing
more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Matthew 5:46-48
As challenging as it may seem, we are to aspire to become more and more like our heavenly Father, our Creator. More and more perfect like the One in whose image we are made. Perfect in divine attributes. Perfect in love. Perfect.
“God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. . . .
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:
because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:16, 18
It would seem then that aspiring to be perfect, as the Divine is perfect, is a good thing.
Perfectionism is not.
Perfectionism: a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.
Perfectionism has nothing to do with aspiring to become the fully expressed person we were created to be and everything to do with EGO. I’m no psychologist (as they say), but I think it’s fair to assert that perfectionism has everything to do with insecurity, comparing ourselves to others, and not wanting to make a mistake lest we embarrass ourselves or tarnish our esteemed reputation. Unlike perfect love, it’s fear-based, not fear-free.
Perfectionism is a pain in the patuky! (I think that’s tweetable. Go for it.)
What I haven’t figured out is the line between perfectionism and professionalism. If you’re like me, you shudder to see typos in publications [yes, I checked to see if it were typo’s or typos]. And between you and I, grammatical errors drive me up a wall.
So I strive to be professional, which is important to me. It’s when I waste time making sure everything is perfect, perfect, perfect (when “good enough” would do just fine) that my “perfectionistic tendencies” tend to get in the way of making the difference I’m meant to make.
I’m going to stop writing now without even wordsmithing this blog post as I am want to do.Time to make calls, reach out, connect with others, support others, love others. Time to aspire to be more and more like my heavenly Father as I fulfill my calling as wife, mother, friend, and business owner.
Will you join me?
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You said it well, “Perfectionism has nothing to do with aspiring to become the fully expressed person we were created to be and everything to do with EGO.” Perfectionism is me-focused. God wants our pursuits of excellence to be other-focused. Had to chuckle because I can relate to your feelings about typos, etc. Now see if you can find the typo in your last newsletter and not cringe! 🙂
That’s funny, Diane. Thanks. I’m not even going to look! I once had somebody tell me that we should plan to insert at least one typo in each communication to seem more “real.” Whatever typo you found, I wish I could say I had planned it. Not!
xxoo
Jory
Jory,
Thank you for the beautiful reminder that we don’t have to be perfect to be on purpose and to make a difference for the kingdom! I recently posted “nobody is perfect, but there is one perfect God working in all people.” I think it’s so important that we remember that when our perfectionism thorn pinches our side. He is perfect, so we don’t have to be.
Much Love,
Dawn
Dawn, that is so true!!!! Great image of the perfectionism thorn. Like Paul, I may have to live with my thorn for a lifetime. (Oh dear!) But it certainly serves as a great reminder to aspire to divine perfection not human perfection. Thank you for your insightful comment!
Grace and Peace to you,
Jory
And if you were raised Jewish,then
The Image of God (Hebrew: צֶלֶם אֱלֹהִים; tzelem elohim, lit. “image of God”, often appearing in Latin as Imago Dei) is a concept and theological doctrine that asserts that human beings are created in God’s image and therefore have inherent value independent of their utility or function. The primary source and documentation for this concept of the essential nature of human beings is found in Genesis 1:26,27.(see Wikipedia)
As I said to you on FB: Ha ha….I think YOU ARE PERFECT just as is…..Yeah you can do lots of other stuff……and as for self-improvement…IMHO-most selves are fine as is…..working seriously on reaching personal goals is what I think people really mean by “self-improvement”
Now, to address the issue of the line between perfection and professionalism. I think it could be a conundrum to consider this question. Professionalism requires first adherence to a) all universal human ethics, i.e. doing them not just paying lip service and b) all special ethical edicts unique to one’s calling/role/job—-profession. Second, professionalism requires striving to meet the highest standards established and endorsed by one’s professional peers….by one’s credentials, title, license. Third professionalism is keeping one’s own ego out of the decision making process when one is performing that “profession”. And finally, professionalism is the commitment to life-long awareness, knowledge, learning and practices of that profession.
oooh…. Richard, you are good! I particularly like the concept of keeping one’s own ego out of the decision-making process when one is performing that “profession.” I don’t want to pick on any particular professions, but I must say certain ones come to mind.
Love your contribution from the “Jewish perspective.” How sweet it would be if all people recognized their worth “independent of their utility or function.”
One more thing…what does IMHO mean?????
Thanks yet again!
Jory
HAHAH,,,you asked what does IMHO mean…..I think I learned it from your brother…..In My Humble Opinion IMHO…also learned FYEO from him For Your Eyes Only…..maybe it is military jargon or maybe just Curt being computer savy…. So FYI if this is TMI then LOL, (if you want the inside track on all computer acronyms check out http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php) TTUL, AAMF Richard
Good stuff Jory. I took a whole page of notes from your article. Just this week I had an incident with running in bootcamp where I was running against other teammates and I noticed a part of myself I didnt particularly like and was asking God about it and He reminded me that it was a reaction which came from a part of me that still felt insecure, so to hear these words, was affirming and helpful.
Once when a friend and I were talking about perfectionism and her struggle with it, she said that God told her “You can’t even see perfection”. That cured it for her and has helped me to let go many times.
Blessings,
Coleen
I love this post Jory! So true! I have also struggled with the fine line between giving the best of myself and insisting on everything being ‘perfect’ so to speak. I agree with you that perfectionism has never produced the best outcomes because it is based in fear, and it can be a terrible waste of energy indeed! In my book “The Alien In Your Closet – Open the Door to Your Inner Child and Unleash Your True Destiny!” (top of page 10), I describe true perfection as: “What makes you perfect is not so much the absence of personal flaws, failure or mistakes; rather, it is the embracing of your true nature. In this light, perfection is defined by your willingness to tap into those unique gifts with consistent and purposeful action.”
Coleen and Marcelle, thank you for giving us additional food for thought. Where “on earth” does this perfectionism streak come from????
If only we could spend more time aspiring to divine perfection and less time aspiring to be perfect little humans, I think we would all be better off.
I need to meditate on my own comments!!!
Jory