So how was I able to become a missing person who was found? By becoming a leader of my life and making a decision to do whatever needed to get through.
The process to get better took time.
I Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
A Twelve Step Approach
I received help through professional counselors at multiple times. A close friend pointed me toward another approach using Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery is a Bible-based Twelve Step approach to healing hurts, habits, and hang-ups. I could see more peace and strength in my friend. I was encouraged to work through the steps.
While going through Celebrate Recovery, my sponsor guided me through a prayer time. During this session, I could truly feel God’s love penetrate the darkness of my hidden heart. It was like the darkness was melting, and light was filling up the dark hole inside of me. I returned home, and my husband looked at me and could see something different about me. He said, “I would say it’s nice to have you back, but I’m not sure I really had all of you before.”
The Light Was On
Once the light was inside, it then illuminated the diseased parts. I wanted to get those out quickly. In working through forgiveness, some people were easy, while others were more challenging. I found out hardest one to forgive was me. Even though I suffered through a lot of teasing while growing up, I was the one who put myself down the most. I couldn’t forgive myself for some of the mean, stupid things I had done. It was brought to my attention one night in Celebrate Recovery that I was making my standards higher than God’s standards, and I had no right to put myself above God. He loves and accepts me as I am, and I should do the same.
I was also blessed with an understanding and encouraging employer during this time in life. I was working with Kevin W. McCarthy as his administrative assistant. While I was helping him with details of his business, I would receive bits of insight as he talked, both with me and with gatherings he presented. Kevin speaks of being a leader of your life. A person doesn’t have to have the title of leader in business to be a leader.
A leader doesn’t just have the answers. A person can be a leader in one area of life while being a beginning student in others. Learning the answers takes struggle and time.
Restoration through God’s Love
I Peter 1:6,7 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
God’s love and acceptance now fills my spirit. With that, I can also accept myself better.
- I can allow myself to feel angry, and work through it in a healthy way.
- I can feel sadness and grief without worrying about sinking into depression again.
When I focus on myself is when I get into trouble. When I take the time to focus on God, life is livable.
Photo by Flickr (SpaceShoe)
About Julie Holzmann
Julie Holzmann is a freelance virtual assistant and copy editor. She has been able to absorb great information from the Christian business people and coaches she has worked for, and she likes to share that information with others. In this season of life, duties as a caregiver for her mother are her priority. Julie and her husband live in Silicon Valley.
Note: It very well may be harder for others to overcome depression than it was for me. My depression was long lasting, but it wasn’t deep enough to want to cause permanent harm to myself so I was able to work through the emotional aspects with counsel and guidance. People with more serious clinical depression or other diagnoses will benefit from more help than I can offer. Please seek the professional help you need.